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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
 Compassion - Do we have it ? |
Posted Nov 29, 2009; 1:23 pm |
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Today the sermons and studies I have been making all seem to point to the same need and that is the need for more of the compassion of Christ. Our main sermon today at church was all about how we seem to lack the compassion of Christ and yet it becomes unclear as to how we obtain this compassion and have it as a driver in our lives.
I ran across this prayer by Andrew Murray who believed this compassion must be asked for -
'O my Lord! my calling is becoming almost too high. In Thy compassionate love, too, I must follow and imitate and reproduce Thy life. In the compassion wherewith I see and help every bodily and spiritual misery, in the gentle, tender love wherewith every sinner feels that I long to bless men, must the world form some idea of Thy compassion. Most merciful One! forgive me that the world has seen so little of it in me. Most mighty Redeemer! let Thy compassion not only save me, but so take hold of me and dwell in me that compassion may be the very breath and joy of my life. May Thy compassion towards me be within me a living fountain of compassion towards others.
Lord Jesus, I know Thou canst only give this on one condition, that I let go my own life and my efforts to keep and sanctify that life, and suffer Thee to live in me, to be my life. Most merciful One, I yield myself to Thee! Thou hast a right to me, Thou alone. There is nothing more precious to me than Thy compassionate countenance; what can be more blessed than to be like Thee!
Lord, here I am. I have faith in Thee, that Thou Thyself wilt teach and fit me to obey Thy word: "Thou shouldest have had compassion, even as I had compassion on thee." In that faith I go out this very day to find in my intercourse with others the opportunity of showing how Thou hast loved me. In that faith it will become the great object of my life to win men to Thee. Amen.'
I believe this compassion is the result of being able to see mankind through the eyes of Christ. I know for myself I have trouble seeing certain people around me as 'lost', 'blind', 'destined for hell', 'wandering in darkness', 'poor', 'helpless', 'fools' and terms like this. Many appear to 'have it made', 'successful', 'happy', 'at peace', etc, etc when their actual state as God sees it is far different.
What do other forum posters think about this subject ? Do you think your local church is a group that reflects the passion of Christ ? Do you sense such compassion in your life ? Have you always been a naturally compassionate person ? How do you respond to T.V. adds to get us acting in a compassionate way ? Have you prayed for compassion ? Do you think compassion is a general, major shortcoming for Christians in our culture ? Are you afraid to ask for the compassion of Christ ? Any thoughts would be appreciated. |
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| rudyhiebert Member Joined Oct 2, 2003 481 posts Location: Abbotsford BC |
| Re: Compassion - Do we have it ? |
Posted Nov 29, 2009; 10:42 pm |
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| Sudsy wrote: | | ...Do you think compassion is a general, major shortcoming for Christians in our culture ? Are you afraid to ask for the compassion of Christ ? Any thoughts would be appreciated. |
When a scruffy looking pan handler type person confronts me in a parking lot with a liquor store close by, and "asks" for spare change I cannot help myself to courteously but negatively respond. An all too common reaction from these unfortunates is to rip off a series of judgmental and guilt tripping expletives. I'm not afraid to ask for compassion because I would like to grab this character by the collar and tell him in no uncertain terms that he is going to hear my prayer. These same individuals are known to police, are kicked out of food bank line ups for verbally abusing staff that turn them away; frequently seen around church parking lots asking church goes for money handouts.
Generally, Christians that I know are very aware of the legitimate needs of their community and participate as much as they are able in philanthropy that meets these needs.
My generosity has a way of feeling very inadequate when I see an opportunist coming around a corner of a building with a convenient limp asking for change. |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
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Posted Nov 30, 2009; 9:03 am |
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We, too, have people like those 'pan handler' types in our small city and I agree they are a real test of how compassionate we feel towards them. There are some behaviours and/or cleanliness and/or other characteristics about some people that I think makes some of us prefer to just stay away from them or perhaps to 'set them straight'. But behind all this is often a sad story of how sin has taken it's toll on their lives. When I think 'but for the grace of God, there go I', it gives me a different perspective. However, I don't always think this thought and need more of Jesus compassion in my heart.
I believe real compassion responds like the good Samaritan story. Note in this story that the first to pass by was a religious person, a priest. And then a temple assistant. Then the man who took care of the wounded Jew was a Samaritan, who were hated by Jews and the Samaritans themselves hated Jews. Both hatreds were due to their religious beliefs. But the Samaritan rose above all this background of hatred and prejudice and as the scripture says he 'had compassion'.
| Quote: | | Generally, Christians that I know are very aware of the legitimate needs of their community and participate as much as they are able in philanthropy that meets these needs. |
That is good to hear that the Christians you know show some compassion in this way. In my case, generally, the Christians I know may occasionally give monies to charitable causes but very little 'hands on' involvement and they would probably be one of the passers by in the Good Samaritan story. Or if they show hands on compassion it is just amongst their own faith group or for those who meet certain qualifications. When I spent a year with the Salvation Army and learned to really participate with the very 'down and out' type cases, it made me aware of how far removed I had previously been from such people in previous churches I had been part of.
I do agree with you that compassion can involve some 'tough love'. It also requires much patience and determination. But that is how God was with many of us before we came to know Him. Perhaps those who grew up in the church don't have the same appreciation for the mercy of God on their lives. Scripture says something about if we see ourselves as forgiven much we can love much. How we need the conversion of the 'down and outers' in our churches to teach us to love more.
So, do I really see people like 'pan handlers' as poor lost people bound by sin that is destroying their lives or do I see them as just troublesome nuisances in my society ? I think Jesus would reach out to them and offer them living water so they 'never thirst again'. I don't know how we can be His follower if we do not reflect His compassion. And will we be abused by some ? Yes, some are so bound by sin they will try to take advantage of us. But taking some abuse to rescue one lost sinner would be well worth it. |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
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Posted Dec 1, 2009; 4:40 pm |
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| One of my favourite songs and one we sing often in church. Nothing is impossible for God. He is mighty to save. Everyone needs compassion - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-08YZF87OBQ |
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| westcoast frame of mind Moderator |
| ‘Real’ compassion means just say no to the panhandlers |
Posted Dec 1, 2009; 10:48 pm |
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I supervise several ‘street people’ (people who float between various low-rent dives and literally sleep on the street) and have done so for several years. I’ve never supervised a street person (even the mentally disordered variety) who didn’t know where to get free food and where to find a worker within the social services field to hook up with in order to find some sort of lodging. In my opinion giving money to a street person merely perpetuates or enables them to remain on the street. Note: I make a distinction between getting involved in ‘hands on’ assistance through something like the Sally Ann and just giving a panhandler $.
Compassion isn’t giving a panhandler money so he or she can go and get high.
(edited once) |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
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Posted Dec 2, 2009; 8:34 am |
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| Quote: | | Compassion isn’t giving a panhandler money so he or she can go and get high |
For sure. But when we see a 'panhandler' as a person who God loves and one God has the power to change into a responsible human being, I believe we can take some personal abuse to win them to Christ. I believe this is where some 'tough love' is appropriate in the sense of providing the rules and telling the truth. But in doing so, the love of God should shine forth in us with compassion as they are doing/being what they are because of the sickness of sin.
Do I feel sorry for the person who is a panhandler or do I think they should know better ? Am I only going to help them when they admit they need help or should I reach out to them in their current state ? I'm glad Christ is always reaching out to save us even when we didn't want Him. I think He expects us to also 'love our neighbours as ourselves'. |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
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Posted Dec 6, 2009; 4:52 pm |
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Does anyone have any specific acts of compassion they are doing that relate to this Christmas period and that do not involve money (cash handouts) ? Perhaps sharing what we do will encourage each other and give us more ideas on where and how we can show compassion.
I had an opportunity to talk with an RC the other day and he told me some of his efforts to reach out to people who need help. He talked about the joy it gave him to know he was making a positive difference for some. It seems to me that those I know that take the sheep and goats judgment very literally are one's that also take their involvement in community quite seriously. I remember this being a favourite text in the Salvation Army. |
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| gay lynn voth Member Joined Jan 25, 2005 693 posts |
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Posted Dec 7, 2009; 11:57 am |
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Sudsy wrote: | Quote: | | Does anyone have any specific acts of compassion they are doing that relate to this Christmas period and that do not involve money (cash handouts) ? Perhaps sharing what we do will encourage each other and give us more ideas on where and how we can show compassion |
There are a number of languages that love/compassion speaks.  Have you heard of the concept of 'love languages', Sudsy? The languages include quality time spent with someone, words of affirmation and encouragement, physical touch, acts of service that are creative and uinquely related to the needs of the person you are serving, and giving gifts.
I think these languages can be 'spoken' in many different circumstances. Not everyone will appreciate all of them. Speaking in love requires sensitivity and creativity. I imagine that our acts of compassion during this season can demonstrate this as we rely on the Holy Spirit to nudge us in the right direction. |
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| rudyhiebert Member Joined Oct 2, 2003 481 posts Location: Abbotsford BC |
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Posted Dec 7, 2009; 12:15 pm |
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| Sudsy wrote: | | Does anyone have any specific acts of compassion they are doing that relate to this Christmas period and that do not involve money (cash handouts) ? Perhaps sharing what we do will encourage each other and give us more ideas on where and how we can show compassion. |
This thread reminds me of the "Holiday Festival On Ice" event, the theme of romance was a connection made to the Christmas season. I doubt that this is a theme that is advertised in MB circles but the thought of being a bit more pleasant to especially friends, family and loved ones is what would fit here. When I think of compassion in the Christmas season context, it sounds a bit manipulative or demeaning. In other words, care must be taken to share kindness in any shape or form, with someone who may take it the wrong way. I suppose we are too paranoid. Sharing laughter would be my style but I'm told I don't smile enough. |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
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Posted Dec 7, 2009; 1:32 pm |
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| Quote: | | The languages include quality time spent with someone, words of affirmation and encouragement, physical touch, acts of service that are creative and uinquely related to the needs of the person you are serving, and giving gifts. |
If you are saying these are various demonstrations of compassion, I agree. For some, this 'Christmas season' causes them to stop and invest some time in acts of compassion for people outside of their normal contacts. For others this season has little concern for others that cannot reciprocate whatever is given. I am curious as to what Christians are actually doing outside of their norms at this time of year as an act of compassion to perhaps those they show very little or no compassion to throughout the year.
| Quote: | | I imagine that our acts of compassion during this season can demonstrate this as we rely on the Holy Spirit to nudge us in the right direction |
I agree that the Holy Spirit is our guide if we are willing to be obedient to His guidance and sensitive to his nudges.
Rudy said - | Quote: | | Sharing laughter would be my style but I'm told I don't smile enough. |
I have used kidding and laughter at the SA kettle donations especially with people who appear to be the more marginalized in our society. Sometimes they look at me with what seems to be a look of surprise that someone would just treat them on a peer level. They then will sometimes just want to hang around as though they have made a new friend and/or come back to say 'Merry Christmas' or another word or two after their shopping. This has helped me to be reminded that there are so many out there that just crave a little recognition and I too often have been very indifferent to the needs around me.
Here is one that I have heard used - buy some gift certificates at Tim Horton or MacDonalds or similar places and when you run into someone you think could use a certificate, give them one with a 'Merry Christmas' and a 'God Bless'. Better still, offer to treat them and spend 15 minutes or so with them over a coffee. Perhaps some can share experiences they have had from doing this or something similar. |
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| roadrunning Member Joined May 9, 2008 315 posts |
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Posted Dec 8, 2009; 1:41 pm |
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Hello Sudsy, I just read your latest post on the Wrath of God where you mentioned that you believed that members of this forum don't want to talk about specifics in terms of showing compassion. So I thought I would share with you how I am approaching being compassionate at this time. Many of these are very ordinary things, Sudsy. They are part of how I try to show compassion in everyday life throughout the year, as well as at Christmas.
By the way, I appreciated what you shared about treating the marginalized as peers and taking the time to have coffee with someone who is lonely. I do have coffee with lonely people, but they often are people I know quite well who have to spend much of their time alone.
My spouse is going through chemotherapy so I am trying to be extraordinarily compassionate in that regard.
A close family member has a chronic mental illness that requires care and close attention. I am one of the primary caregivers for this individual. This requires time and loving attention.
As a family, we are still grieving the death of a family member during the summer. This requires time and compassion as we listen to other family members process the pain and the loss.
A close friend faced an unexpected unemployment that may require some financial assistance on our part.
A family member may also become unemployed in the new year. This involves a young family and likely will require compassionate support and perhaps financial aid.
A close friend is facing some critical issues in relationship to the well-being of her young children. This requires wisdom and compassion on those who are part of her life. This one is very complicated and I find time for prayer on the family's behalf is crucial.
Many of our neighbors are non-Christians and we are planning to invite them to a 'New Year' party as a way for us to encourage one other for the year ahead.
One of our close friends is a recovering addict, is unemployed and needs compassion, a listening ear and some financial aid this season so that he won't become depressed and begin using again.
Some of our elderly friends in church are lonely this season and need friendly support.
A good number of our friends are facing signficant health issues (we are in that age bracket  that involves declining health). We find we encourage each other with prayer and tender hearts. Those who have gone through recent health challenges know intimately what lies ahead for those with a new diagnosis. |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
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Posted Dec 8, 2009; 2:20 pm |
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Thanks RR that was very encouraging to read. This, to me, is what real Christianity is all about. This is the kind of thing I was looking for. Sometimes hearing what others are doing opens up our eyes to the needs around us, at least it helps me.
One thing I am doing is I bought tickets for our church's Christmas Dinner Theatre for a full table of guests and went about inviting neighbours to join us. I hope this helps build relationships so I can share more of my faith with them in the future.
A couple of things you mentioned regarding the elderly and those with health problems especially spoke to me. One of my table guests is going through cancer treatment and I'm hoping the Gospel message at this dinner will be made clear.
Thanks again. I need to see people as Jesus saw them and as you say, this should be a year round way of life for us.
I'm curious - have you always been a naturally caring person or how did this compassion begin in your life ? |
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| roadrunning Member Joined May 9, 2008 315 posts |
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Posted Dec 8, 2009; 2:57 pm |
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Thanks for asking, Sudsy: | Quote: | | I'm curious - have you always been a naturally caring person or how did this compassion begin in your life ? |
I naturally am more of a recluse and an introvert. As a child I spent a great deal of time reading. As I grew older I was noted for being the one who always had a book in their hand. Not much has changed, I'm afraid. As well, I tended to be (and still am) very careful with how I spend money on others. Sadly, I have always found it easier to spend money on the things that interest me.
My natural interest in reading and studying has made it more difficult for me to take the time to express care for people. I am not naturally inclined to sit around and have coffee with others. Though I might feel compassion for others when I surface from my desk, I often feel overwhelmed in terms of how to respond well to the problems people are having. I tend to think that there is very little I can do to make a difference. I often respond by retreating to the safety of my private world.
In terms of my introversion, as a young person I prayed that God would fill me with the Holy Spirit so that I would not be so shy in speaking to others about our Savior Jesus Christ. God answered my prayers and I have experienced a genuine desire to talk about God. It may help that I study theology on a daily basis. But I still need to make sure that I am able to translate what I am working on at an academic level in such a way that it meets the hearts and minds of the people around me.
Generally my grown daughters develop this far-away look in their eyes when I talk about my work too intensely. This has helped me to realize that even though people enjoy a personal relationship with me, they may not want me to talk about every aspect of God I have spent time thinking about. They generally enjoy having me enter into their world in a thoughtful way.
My spouse listens very carefully and kindly to what I am thinking about theologically.  I am very thankful for that. I feel appreciated for who I am and seek to offer the same.
I think compassion has been part of my life since the day I was born. My parents and extended family loved me and cared for me well. I was taught about God's love for me, and experienced this love within the Christian community I grew up in. Since I have received so much compassion and kindness during my life, I only think it is proper for me to respond in kind. |
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| Radames Member Joined Feb 17, 2006 322 posts Location: Surrey |
| Non-cash ministries |
Posted Dec 8, 2009; 3:23 pm |
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| Sudsy wrote: | | Does anyone have any specific acts of compassion they are doing that relate to this Christmas period and that do not involve money (cash handouts) ? Perhaps sharing what we do will encourage each other and give us more ideas on where and how we can show compassion. |
One that we participated in this year is Fraser River Sailors Ministry. We find some small, practical gifts (socks are emphasized) and wrap them, and Tom Walker, the visitation director of the ministry gives them out to sailors from different countries that are docked in the Vancouver area. He also gives sermons and hands out information about the gospel and other forms of evangelism. He devotes his retirement to this ministry (which is unpaid).
http://www.canadianchristianity.com/cgi-bin/bc.cgi?bc/bccn/0700/fsretiree
Another ministry we participated in was similar, but it was gift boxes for children overseas.
This morning (at 7:30am) I noticed an elderly man walking in my neighborhood and looking in the blue recycle boxes for cans and bottles. I sometimes leave a can or two in the box for whoever goes by to look, but today I gave him the ones we had been saving up. I figure someone willing to go to that much effort needs the money more than I do.
Regarding the question of cash gifts, I am of mixed feelings about that. A couple months ago I was in downtown Vancouver and someone asked me if I could spare some change. I asked him what he was planning to use it for, and he said "food". I gave him a small amount, and was going to follow up with "God bless you". However, he beat me to it and blessed me instead!
Another time someone asked me for some change for the bus, and I gave him some money (I had a Starbucks in my hand so could hardly claim poverty  ). I don't know if he actually used it for the bus, but we talked for 5 minutes and he told me a bit about his life. I generally try to treat people with the respect that I hope people would treat me with if I was in need. Also, to put the use of money into perspective, if I permit myself to occasionally enjoy a glass of wine, can I judge someone who desires the same? Of course, alcholism is sinful, but not every purchase of alchohol means someone will get drunk. As I look at the poor use I have put God's resources to in the past, I find myself not begrudging the poor the small comforts that money can bring an otherwise dark and hopeless life. |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2833 posts |
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Posted Dec 8, 2009; 6:32 pm |
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RR shared - | Quote: | | I often feel overwhelmed in terms of how to respond well to the problems people are having. I tend to think that there is very little I can do to make a difference. I often respond by retreating to the safety of my private world. |
I think many of us are in that same boat. Although I am fairly open with my life here on a forum, I prefer the safety of my private world also. I once took a series of tests that my company put me through with an outside service to determine how high in management I could go. One of my areas I did not score well in was 'empathy'. However, I scored very high in abstract reasoning and the 'shrink' ( sorry, don't know his official title) said I will ultimately figure people out but not pick up on their initial responses with low empathy. However, I do believe that the power of the Holy Spirit can work in us to be things we are not naturally.
| Quote: | | I prayed that God would fill me with the Holy Spirit so that I would not be so shy in speaking to others about our Savior Jesus Christ. God answered my prayers and I have experienced a genuine desire to talk about God. |
Exactly, this is what God can do in us to make us more like Christ. This is what we read that the early church prayed for - boldness.
I don't read where I am to pray for compassion but I do believe the Holy Spirit will bring out more compassion in me if I am willing to be a servant to all mankind and follow His leadings. I remember a period in my life where I did experience much compassion and wept tears over the state of some and reached out to them. But it is easy to get self absorbed in this culture and become blind and deaf to the real needs that exist.
Radames, thanks especially for the Walker ministry link. My wife's aunt Betty, in her 90's, is doing a similar ministry in England called Missions to Seamen.
| Quote: | | As I look at the poor use I have put God's resources to in the past, I find myself not begrudging the poor the small comforts that money can bring an otherwise dark and hopeless life. |
Yes, I still spend too much on stuff that I don't need and that could help a good cause. It is sad at Christmas time when so much is spent on things that are not real needs in these gift exchanges. I find it interesting to watch young children sometimes twist their parents arm into putting some money in the SA kettle. Some parents have said how their child will not let them pass a kettle without donating to help the poor. I'm reminded of the scripture that a little child will lead them. After they put in their donation they have this big smile, the joy of giving.
Here is a video that may help soften up the heart of anyone that needs it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w-ocLJuHRA |
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