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| Jason |
 Modesty? What's Modesty? |
Posted Mar 12, 2003; 1:26 pm |
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Note: This topic was originally in the Youth Room section of the forum. It was moved to Discuss Anything when the Youth Room was closed.
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For this month's issue, here is a short article excerpted from Group magazine (Sept/Oct 2002, p. 144):
"From decorated bra straps designed for visibility to low-rise jeans so low that a zipper seems superfluous, girls' clothing keeps getting sexier. Comedian Janeane Garofalo has called the less-clothing, more-skin trend "thong feminism". Girls say it's all about confidence.
"Clothing like this makes me feel confident," says D.C.-area high school student Karen Gutierrez, gesturing to her black tube top. "People's eyes are on me, not another girl."
"I've become more confident with my body, and I'm comfortable with what I like," says senior Katie Phillips, whose taste runs to low-cut shirts and low-rise short skirts. "If you can pull it off and not look gross, why not dress this way?"
The body-baring trend has caused many schools to tighten dress codes, but girls complain that it's hard to find clothes that aren't revealing. Phillips searched two malls to find one "grandmother-appropriate" graduation outfit.
And how do the guys feel about all this? High school student Somsack Vongvirath says "hot" girls "brighten up the class," but he'd rather date a "cute" girl who dresses more conservatively. His reason? "There would be too many guys trying to get the hot girl."
Most girls said they don't care what guys think about the way they dress. "Girls have as much right to express themselves as boys do," says Phillips. "It's not a girl's job either to please or keep the boys on track."
Do you agree with the girls in the article who say that dressing sexy just means that a person is confident? Why or why not?
Do you agree with those in the article who say girls shouldn't care what guys think of the way they dress? When girls choose their clothing, how much consideration should they give to whether they might be tempting guys?
What do you think God thinks about modesty, and what does that mean for how Christians should dress?
Tell me what you think.
Jason |
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| Guest |
| It's our fault boys! |
Posted Mar 29, 2003; 3:16 pm |
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I don't think girls should have to take into account, when their shopping for clothes, whether or not they might be tempting guys. When I see a girl who is dressed skimpily I notice and get tempted sometimes, but thats MY fault, NOT the girls. In my daily devotional it says "A safe male takes responsibility for his own sexual response." In other words don't say, "Well its her fault she dressed that way." If a girl is purposely dressing to draw attention maybe she should go over her priorities. But if we, as men, take advantage of that, and then afterwards say to ourselves "it was her fault, she wanted me to look at her," WE are the ones who have the problem   |
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| Guest |
| a "heart" friend or "eye" friend? |
Posted Apr 7, 2003; 9:35 pm |
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| I don't think girls (christian or non) have to worry about being "hot". Wearing this kind of clothing may get you a lot of boyfriends but will they be strong, reliable friends? Probably not. Paul says women should be clothed with "good deeds" (I Timothy 2:10). I, personally, would want a friend that liked me for who I am, not what I look or dress like. |
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| Jason |
| Jason's Reply to: "Modesty? What's Modesty?" |
Posted Apr 12, 2003; 4:14 pm |
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Read these verses and think about them:
"Is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity of your ways your hope?" -Job 4:6
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to god should make themselves attractive by the good things they do." -1 Timothy 2:9-10
"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. That is the way the holy women of old made themselves beautiful." -1 Peter 3:3-5
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." -Proverbs 31-30
As you read those verses, you begin to see that according to God, beauty isn't just about physical appearances. In fact, physical appearances don't even count for much in true beauty. Why would we as Christians spend so much time on something (physical beauty) which doesn't even really concern God?
I do not believe that any girl/woman can get much confidence from dressing in a sexy/revealing way. Girls/women who do that are simply after one thing: attention. And if they are trying to get attention, than they don't have much self-confidence most likely. As the verse in Job states, true confidence comes from our standing with God in Christ. Knowing that we are God's child and loved immensley by Christ will give us more confidence than anything else in this world.
I also do not want anyone to get the idea that physical beauty doesn't mean anything, and that anyone who cares about looking beautiful is just wasting their time. The fact is that God created all good things, including beauty. God enjoys beauty. That is why we enjoy it too. There is nothing wrong with appreciating physical beauty, or with wanting others to appreciate our beauty. However, the girls in this article, and many girls that I know, have gone overboard in this area. Make sure that you haven't.
Lastly, I want girls to know that guys think way differntly than they do. Please, take care in how you dress. Guys are sight-oriented, and we can really get carried away when you give us too much to look at. Girls must take into account how they are affecting the guys around them with their dress. The Bible states clearly in many places that it is a sin to cause another believer to stumble/sin.
This does not let guys off in hook though. As RNFN said, it is our fault when we look at a girl and lust after her. We cannot blame her - only ourselves. So guys, take care in how you look at girls. Don't stare - glance away instead. Think of girls as friends and sisters in Christ.
This is a tough issue, especially for teens because there are so many hormones rushing around that it is easy to lose control. Be careful in how you dress, and what you look at. Both guys and girls need to do their parts to help each other out.
Jason |
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| kirby |
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Posted Aug 22, 2003; 7:10 am |
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ahhhh..the whole dress up game, I still remember a few years back in high school when the way a girl dressed defined who she was. It was actually a sad sight to see such bright and beautiful girls making themselves look less attractive by wearing what was considered as "sexy" by the majority of current culture.
I do't think how you dress defines who you are really, it's on the inside which defines who you are. I recently played around with that idea and showed up at my church wearing something different every week to see what people thought. One week I was a jock, the other a cowboy. Nobody really said much until I showed up with my sk8er pants, Manson t-shirt, black nailpolish and chains on. Then people started to ask why I was dressed like that. Those are the people who failed my test. They thought that by me dressing a certain way, I acted that way.
That is the problem with too many girls(and guys) nowdays, they think that if they dress a certain way, they will be looked at a certain way, but how many of them realize the problems that this may cause in the future.
" That girl dressed really sexy...I know she'll put out"
Lines like that become common in the halls of th high schools. |
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| Cort* |
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Posted Dec 20, 2003; 3:57 pm |
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Yeah, I agree that guys need to controll their thoughts but it is a grls fault too. In the bible it says that we should not lead our brothers astray. If a grl dresses immodestly, she is leading a boy to be sexually tempted and leading him astray from what God would want him to be thinking about. So come on grls! Help your brothers out there and cover up your precious bodies. Save them for your future husband.
With Love,
Cort |
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| Sudsy Member Joined Sep 23, 2003 2916 posts |
| Old but not dead |
Posted Apr 20, 2004; 3:09 pm |
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Very interesting thread. Well, I'm an old feller but I do remember the same type considerations have occurred for many years as to modest dress. Back in my day the mini skirt was the rage and I remember the church leaders setting a level for skirts above the knee if you were to participate in platform functions.
I just started going to church again after some 25 years. The dress in church has drastically changed to be basically what you feel comfortable with wearing and I have no big issue with this. Some still wear suit and tie but most wear some type of conservative dress clothes. I always felt that there was too much competition in dressing up for church but I'm not sure that has changed. It is just a different type of dress to attract attention.
The youth however have all kinds of outfits and some still stick to the suit and tie or dresses, no slacks. Some look like they just got out of bed, hair not combed, some kind of tee shirt, whatever, and this too doesn't bother me. I don't know if God sees this as disrespectful or not. I am a member of a golf course that has a dress code. Many things that we allow on our platform today in church would not be allowed on our golf course. Things the world thinks are immodest. I find it interesting how a golf course has maintained certain dress codes and not the church.
What I was disappointed to see was what is worn on the platform for worship leading and other platform activities. Things like - see through blouses, plunging necklines revealing cleavage, short tops that reveal middle body flesh, tight fitting body form clothes, sweat pants, etc. To me, this type of dress detracts from worship and tempts to draw attention to the wrong things. One other area that is traditional but surprised me was how some guys could wear a ball hat in church. This is still considered as a lack of respect even in some worldly settings. Perhaps this is an outdated thing also.
Anyway, I don't want to sound like a prude and I am not pointing at our youth only in this but when it comes to what you wear to lead worship or any other activity on a platform, I think very modest clothing should be considered to ensure it is God that is getting all of the attention. I know this is a section for teens, so teens feel free to express your opinions on this. I'm all ears. |
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| McDLT Moderator Joined May 14, 2004 1451 posts Location: Toronto |
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Posted May 28, 2004; 9:58 am |
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Here's my two cents on the issue.
I used to dress rather risk-eh  in my youth, which wasn't that long ago. And it may have felt like it gave me a confidence boost, but really what it was, was a cry for attention. The confidence came from getting the looks from guys. I knew I was getting their attention which made me feel more confident.
There are also a lot of people out there who think they can pull of some of those clothes and they really can't. Like the girls wearing low rise jeans with their belly hanging out and over. I don't have problems with the goth look or the preppy look (is it still around?). I can understand the expression.
I think there is a lot to be said about covering up. I don't mean to say we should all wear long pants and shirts up to our chins. Most people know when they have crossed the line. It's all a matter of attention.
Okay maybe instead of 2 cents it was about a nickel's worth. |
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